Why This Blog ?

It has been years now that the AHC girls have been asking for "Mrs. J-isms." I just got another request last night. They want to have down on paper the various and sundry things we discussed in our classes over time: true love, "Pet your dog, not your date," Spiritual Kung Fu, Experiment in Loving (Krist Kindl), the Prayerbook, death, friendship, the stages of love, romance, courtship and marriage, a relationship with God.

This is the way I would like to work it: ask your particular question, request your particular subject and I shall respond. Then we can have our dialogues on said subjects. This will be different from the LTF in that these will address particular subjects like the ones above. Deal?

When the children were little we used to play an Advent game we learned from Mary Reed Newland called Krist Kindl. Krist Kindl is German for "Christ Child." We would put our names in a hat and the person whose name we got was to be our Krist Kindl for Advent. We were to treat this person as if s/he were the Christ Child. Invariably we got the name of the person we were having trouble with that particular year. There was someone in our extended family whom I had troubles with for years. So, in 1967, I decided to make this person my Krist Kindl all year long. This worked out so well that when I started teaching in 1984 I made it an assignment in my class for six consecutive weeks. The results were astonishing!


KRIST KINDL GUIDELINES - "EXPERIMENT IN LOVING"

1. Pick the most difficult relationship you have or the one that needs the most healing or the one you most want to improve. This person is your KRIST KINDL. (CHRIST CHILD) You are to treat this person as if s/he were the Christ Child.

2. Copy Luke 6:27-31, 35-36 on a 3 x 5 card and tape it to your mirror so you can read it every morning, when you get home, and before you go to bed so that you will get into the rhythm of Jesus' mindset.

3. Pray for your Krist Kindl everytime you read this. Ask God to bless him and cover Him with His love, peace and joy. It is very hard to keep being negative about someone you are praying for day in and day out.

4. Walk a mile in this person's shoes. Look at life and the world with your KK's eyes. Find out what makes him/her tick, where s/he is coming from. Ask them how they feel; what their childhood was like, their hopes, dreams and fears. LISTEN without judgment. WE CAN LISTEN PEOPLE INTO BEING.

5. Empathize because when we do, we will begin to understand. If we try to understand our KK, it will be easier to be compassionate than judgmental. Instead of focusing on our pain, try to see hers/his.

6. FORGIVE! To forgive is not to hold other people's sins against them. If you keep judging your KK, this experiment will not work.

7. Cover your KK with love. Do at least one loving thing for him/her a day. Keep a log of these loving things and note your KK's reactions.

8. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you with this - it is very difficult. Here's a prayer that helps: "LORD, I SURRENDER OUR RELATIONSHIP TO YOU. HELP ME TO SEE MY KRIST KINDL WITH YOUR EYES. HELP ME TO SEE YOU IN MY KRIST KINDL."

9. If your heart is too small and puny and tight to love and forgive your Krist Kindl, ask Jesus to take your heart and stretch it and lend you His in the meantime to love and forgive your KK with.

10. When your KK moves to hurt you, deflect his/her criticisms with good cheer. Remember, no one can make you feel bad without your permission. So never give it.

11. At the end of six weeks, turn in your log with a reflection on what you learned from doing this.

My students wrote that the atmosphere in their homes changed and shifted when the assignment was underway. Many of them complained about how difficult it was but they persevered. Frequently, they chose bratty siblings for their Krist Kindls. Their efforts were downright heroic. When their efforts didn't seem to have any effect, I told them it took me 12 years before I heard my Krist Kindl say to me tearfully when I was going home after taking care of her during an illness, "I am so sorry you are leaving. You have made me feel so loved." Love never fails!