How has my life changed since Jesus came into my life? What unexpected places do I find myself in because of this personal encounter with Jesus?
He came into my life 64 years ago so that means my life has been one continual change ever since. The more I learn to love, the more loving He calls me to.
It also means a constant emptying so that there will be more room for Him. It is a single ongoing effort to divest myself of ego which is like shoveling the sidewalk while it is still snowing.
I find myself being called to be kind when I would enjoy being mean much more. I find myself being asked at regular intervals to put my Isaac on the altar. I find people seeing in me qualities I do not possess like compassion and non-judgmentalness. I assume He put them there for others to see so that He might become more real to them.
I find myself freer in the way I live. Very many issues are no longer issues to me. Things that triggered anger in me like spontaneous combustion fizzle for lack of oxygen.
Everywhere I turn I find grace being poured on me like showers in April. Grace is the only way I can account for every change I manage. I believe becoming a more authentic follower of Jesus comes from what He does with me than what I do at all just as a piece of play or a block of marble becomes a sculpture because of what the sculptor does with it, not because of what it does with itself.
Ultimately, I trust He will make so transparent that all anyone will be able to see is His Light shining through. With Paul, I would like to be able to say, "I live, no not I. Christ lives in me."
Where does the Holy Spirit come in? It is His power that will make this happen.
When I was a little girl we lived in a house with shining, highly polished mahogany floors. My grandmother always wore a saya and now and then she would drop the train of her saya on the floor. My sister and I would take turns sitting on the train. Then when she walked she would take us to wherever she was going. All we had to do was sit.
I think that is how God transforms us. We sit us on the train of His saya and He takes us wherever He wishes.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Who Jesus Is To Me
The friend who originally asked the question "Who Is Jesus To Me?" answered his own question this way:
I haven't really articulated in any way like you have. I don't think Tessie has, either (although I will ask her).
All I know is that when I come to prayer, God (my notion of Him) is the great God, the Creator of everything; whose Wisdom I see in every created "miracle" around me (especially my body); and Jesus is the Word (God) Made Flesh so that he (Jesus) can communicate this mysterious Love of God for me in a way that I can understand. And He died for me in a way (in the way He suffered, was scorned, reviled, crucified) that maybe I cannot fully understand because I have not suffered that way (nut which maybe the poor and marginalized and near-desperate can better understand).
God loves me--and "plays" with me--in somewhat an analogous way to the way I love and play with our dog. And that's alright. He wants me to cuddle up to Him, and I do.
But Jesus I still have to get to know in a more personal way.
That's why--as I said in my "original" e-mail that started all of this--I turned to resolving to study more of Jesus's life . . . as expressed in the Gospels, as I must try to "interiorize" for myself.
My Response:
Yes, I love the way the Father plays with us and the way we can cuddle up to Him. When life gets too much for me, God Papa (that's how the Papua New Guineans call Him) sits on His rocking chair, pats His lap motioning me to climb on. I lean my head against His heart. He rubs my back and pats my hair while I "suck my thumb" and He croons a soothing song to quiet my heart.
To Jesus, I say, "Bend over, Lord, I want to ride piggy back." And He does and I climb on. I used to think that was just a whimsical thought I came up with until I found this line from Deuteronomy, "The one the Lord loves rests between His shoulders."
We often hear of prayer as communication with God. I believe it goes deeper - it is the entire relationship with God. After all we "communicate" with the cashier at the store or people we work with. Prayer is the relationship with God that is on a par with the relationship we have with our spouses, children, closest friends.
When we go to the Gospels to learn more about Him, we do because we see the way He relates to others, the way He deals with circumstances, His responses to the way others treat Him. We get the hang of Him, so to speak. But that is just one way.
As time passes, we realize there are other ways of "knowing" Him. In His relentless pursuit of us, the Hound Of Heaven reveals Himself to us in every possible way He can use. If we are paying the slightest bit of attention, we will notice that He "leaps" at us from every vantage point.
Nature: when I see a bird on the wing, I marvel at the gift it is from Him just to delight me. A totally blue sky without a cloud I count as a loveletter from Him. The stars at night are all jewels from His bounty just for me! I feel so loved by Him then. As Hopkins says, "The world is charged with the grandeur of God!" "Earth's crammed with heaven and every common bush is afire with God" agrees Elizabeth Barrett Browning. Add to that the Edna St. Vincent Millay line you gave me 61 years ago, "Oh God, I could push the grass apart and lay my finger on Your heart."
Other people: I come to understand His love when others love me as He does. Jack made God's love for me real by the way he loved me. I didn't realize how deep it went before. I understood God's compassion when a priest said to me in confession, "Why are you so hard on yourself? God isn't."
Scripture - just as you said.
The Sacraments - Receiving Him in the Eucharist is about as close as we can get to Him this side of heaven. Experiencing His mercy and forgiveness in Reconciliation is like being hugged by Him outright.
The Lives of Saints - reading about His friendships with the likes of Francis, Therese, Peter and the rest of them gives me perspectives of Him I might not have discovered by myself. When I observed how other couples related to each other, I learned more felicitous ways of relating to Jack.
Myself - I think this is what you mean by interiority. I finally understood how God loves us when I became a grandmother because though a bratty grandchild exasperated me beyond endurance, I still thought he was cute. When I hurt, it brings to mind that He was willing to assume humanity and also feel that pain; He didn't have to. When I watched "The Passion Of The Christ" and saw what He went through, all I could think of was "You loved us that much?" "You loved us that much?"
It is true that Jesus relates to us as individuals. All relationships are individual to individual. There is no one we relate to in exactly the same way we relate to another for the pure and simple reason that no one is ever any other. But when a friend tells me about how she and Jesus relate to each other, I learn a new way of seeing Jesus I had never seen before. When you tell me that He plays with you, it affirms His playfulness with me. It assures me that that isn't a figment of my imagination.
Thank you for starting all this because I find that I have been thinking of little else since and they are wonderful thoughts to think about.
I haven't really articulated in any way like you have. I don't think Tessie has, either (although I will ask her).
All I know is that when I come to prayer, God (my notion of Him) is the great God, the Creator of everything; whose Wisdom I see in every created "miracle" around me (especially my body); and Jesus is the Word (God) Made Flesh so that he (Jesus) can communicate this mysterious Love of God for me in a way that I can understand. And He died for me in a way (in the way He suffered, was scorned, reviled, crucified) that maybe I cannot fully understand because I have not suffered that way (nut which maybe the poor and marginalized and near-desperate can better understand).
God loves me--and "plays" with me--in somewhat an analogous way to the way I love and play with our dog. And that's alright. He wants me to cuddle up to Him, and I do.
But Jesus I still have to get to know in a more personal way.
That's why--as I said in my "original" e-mail that started all of this--I turned to resolving to study more of Jesus's life . . . as expressed in the Gospels, as I must try to "interiorize" for myself.
My Response:
Yes, I love the way the Father plays with us and the way we can cuddle up to Him. When life gets too much for me, God Papa (that's how the Papua New Guineans call Him) sits on His rocking chair, pats His lap motioning me to climb on. I lean my head against His heart. He rubs my back and pats my hair while I "suck my thumb" and He croons a soothing song to quiet my heart.
To Jesus, I say, "Bend over, Lord, I want to ride piggy back." And He does and I climb on. I used to think that was just a whimsical thought I came up with until I found this line from Deuteronomy, "The one the Lord loves rests between His shoulders."
We often hear of prayer as communication with God. I believe it goes deeper - it is the entire relationship with God. After all we "communicate" with the cashier at the store or people we work with. Prayer is the relationship with God that is on a par with the relationship we have with our spouses, children, closest friends.
When we go to the Gospels to learn more about Him, we do because we see the way He relates to others, the way He deals with circumstances, His responses to the way others treat Him. We get the hang of Him, so to speak. But that is just one way.
As time passes, we realize there are other ways of "knowing" Him. In His relentless pursuit of us, the Hound Of Heaven reveals Himself to us in every possible way He can use. If we are paying the slightest bit of attention, we will notice that He "leaps" at us from every vantage point.
Nature: when I see a bird on the wing, I marvel at the gift it is from Him just to delight me. A totally blue sky without a cloud I count as a loveletter from Him. The stars at night are all jewels from His bounty just for me! I feel so loved by Him then. As Hopkins says, "The world is charged with the grandeur of God!" "Earth's crammed with heaven and every common bush is afire with God" agrees Elizabeth Barrett Browning. Add to that the Edna St. Vincent Millay line you gave me 61 years ago, "Oh God, I could push the grass apart and lay my finger on Your heart."
Other people: I come to understand His love when others love me as He does. Jack made God's love for me real by the way he loved me. I didn't realize how deep it went before. I understood God's compassion when a priest said to me in confession, "Why are you so hard on yourself? God isn't."
Scripture - just as you said.
The Sacraments - Receiving Him in the Eucharist is about as close as we can get to Him this side of heaven. Experiencing His mercy and forgiveness in Reconciliation is like being hugged by Him outright.
The Lives of Saints - reading about His friendships with the likes of Francis, Therese, Peter and the rest of them gives me perspectives of Him I might not have discovered by myself. When I observed how other couples related to each other, I learned more felicitous ways of relating to Jack.
Myself - I think this is what you mean by interiority. I finally understood how God loves us when I became a grandmother because though a bratty grandchild exasperated me beyond endurance, I still thought he was cute. When I hurt, it brings to mind that He was willing to assume humanity and also feel that pain; He didn't have to. When I watched "The Passion Of The Christ" and saw what He went through, all I could think of was "You loved us that much?" "You loved us that much?"
It is true that Jesus relates to us as individuals. All relationships are individual to individual. There is no one we relate to in exactly the same way we relate to another for the pure and simple reason that no one is ever any other. But when a friend tells me about how she and Jesus relate to each other, I learn a new way of seeing Jesus I had never seen before. When you tell me that He plays with you, it affirms His playfulness with me. It assures me that that isn't a figment of my imagination.
Thank you for starting all this because I find that I have been thinking of little else since and they are wonderful thoughts to think about.
How Am I Known By Jesus?
Someone who was asked "Who Is Jesus To You" countered with this question "How Am I Known By Jesus?" I invite you to answer that one too, please.
My response:
He knows me in my unexpurgated, unedited draft. There is no hiding anything from Him. Surely, He sees through every mask I might consider putting on which I don't like to do anyway. He sees me at my ugliest: mean, petty, cruel, vain, proud, selfish, lazy, show-offy, manipulative, and even those flaws I have not even admitted to myself yet.
My students used to say that I was color-blind. I think Jesus is sin-blind. Because He has washed away our sins with His own blood, He doesn't see them anymore in His mercy. He sees me as He meant me to be and by so doing invites me to be all that and encourages me every inch of the way. When I fall, which is often, He simply picks me up, dusts me off, and sends me on my way again.
He sees all the wonderful things I can be and am sometimes and totally delights in me! Knowing myself as I do I find it hard to fathom how He can do that. I exasperate myself. But I find that if I look at myself with His eyes I am able to actually enjoy myself. And even praise and thank God for me!
I love the freedom to be who I am at any given moment knowing that I don't have to be, act or think in any particular way for Him to love me. I love being able to tell Him my darkest thoughts and most unworthy feelings without having to pretend I don't have them. I am the child whom he holds close to Him and listens to with complete attention. And affection.
It is such a happy grace to be loved unmitigatedly, totally, unconditionally, non-stop, tenderly, dellghtedly, unequivocally, without judgment. How I would love to be able to love like that!
My response:
He knows me in my unexpurgated, unedited draft. There is no hiding anything from Him. Surely, He sees through every mask I might consider putting on which I don't like to do anyway. He sees me at my ugliest: mean, petty, cruel, vain, proud, selfish, lazy, show-offy, manipulative, and even those flaws I have not even admitted to myself yet.
My students used to say that I was color-blind. I think Jesus is sin-blind. Because He has washed away our sins with His own blood, He doesn't see them anymore in His mercy. He sees me as He meant me to be and by so doing invites me to be all that and encourages me every inch of the way. When I fall, which is often, He simply picks me up, dusts me off, and sends me on my way again.
He sees all the wonderful things I can be and am sometimes and totally delights in me! Knowing myself as I do I find it hard to fathom how He can do that. I exasperate myself. But I find that if I look at myself with His eyes I am able to actually enjoy myself. And even praise and thank God for me!
I love the freedom to be who I am at any given moment knowing that I don't have to be, act or think in any particular way for Him to love me. I love being able to tell Him my darkest thoughts and most unworthy feelings without having to pretend I don't have them. I am the child whom he holds close to Him and listens to with complete attention. And affection.
It is such a happy grace to be loved unmitigatedly, totally, unconditionally, non-stop, tenderly, dellghtedly, unequivocally, without judgment. How I would love to be able to love like that!
Who is Jesus to you?
I received this question from an old friend which I am now passing on to you. My answer comes after his note. I invite you to post your answers on my blog. Many thanks!
THIS idea came to me--which I hope, pray, trust, you will join in. Namely, to ask of you, my friends, who I think bear in your hearts a personal love and experience of Jesus, your own sharing, expression, essay on WHAT JESUS MEANS TO YOU YOURSELF.
"Many years ago, someone accused me of using Jesus as a crutch.
And I said, "Oh, no! He is not my crutch. He is my bone, my muscle,
my every nerve and every sinew, every vein and artery.
He is my very leg itself and every inch of me as well!"
He is the air I breathe, every drop of water I drink, the food that I eat - He is my Life!
My first prayer every morning is, "Let there be nothing about me that You are not Lord of.
Grant only that everything that has to do with me will ever redound to Your glory."
I often imagine us standing with a table between us and He says to me, smiling,
as He slams His fist on the table, "My all for your all!
I follow suit doing the same and say, "My all for Your All!
He is the depth of my peace, the wideness of my love and the height of my joy!
He is the Song my heart sings at every moment.
He knows my every thought and desire, all that is good in me and every sin I have committed.
He cherishes me infinitely, nonetheless, and I want to get even with Him.
I want to love Him with a burning so white-heat
that whoever comes near me will be ignited with Love's own fire.
He is my Passion and the very Essence of my being.
He is my God and my All!"
THIS idea came to me--which I hope, pray, trust, you will join in. Namely, to ask of you, my friends, who I think bear in your hearts a personal love and experience of Jesus, your own sharing, expression, essay on WHAT JESUS MEANS TO YOU YOURSELF.
"Many years ago, someone accused me of using Jesus as a crutch.
And I said, "Oh, no! He is not my crutch. He is my bone, my muscle,
my every nerve and every sinew, every vein and artery.
He is my very leg itself and every inch of me as well!"
He is the air I breathe, every drop of water I drink, the food that I eat - He is my Life!
My first prayer every morning is, "Let there be nothing about me that You are not Lord of.
Grant only that everything that has to do with me will ever redound to Your glory."
I often imagine us standing with a table between us and He says to me, smiling,
as He slams His fist on the table, "My all for your all!
I follow suit doing the same and say, "My all for Your All!
He is the depth of my peace, the wideness of my love and the height of my joy!
He is the Song my heart sings at every moment.
He knows my every thought and desire, all that is good in me and every sin I have committed.
He cherishes me infinitely, nonetheless, and I want to get even with Him.
I want to love Him with a burning so white-heat
that whoever comes near me will be ignited with Love's own fire.
He is my Passion and the very Essence of my being.
He is my God and my All!"
Finding God
Alex A, you asked a while ago how to find God in others and this morning you asked how to find Him in the things that happen to us. I think 1) we ask the Holy Spirit to give us the singular grace of finding God everywhere and in everyone and everything. When my son, Joe, was a little boy, He asked, "Mom, where is God?" We were outdoors at the time.
I said, "Everywhere!" He said,
"Is He sitting on my nose?" He was probably 3 or 4 at the time.
I said, "No - we are in God as fish are in water. Not only that - He is also inside us."
He said, "Huh uh. He won't fit. He's too big and I'm too small."
Fast forward to 34 years later. I am having a similar conversation with his son, Matthew, around the same age as he was when he asked the above questions.
I said, "Matt, do you know that God is inside you?"
"Oh, man," he spluttered, "He's gonna get stuck! I've got bones in there!"
I think all of us, children and grown people, have a hard time visualizing the whereness of God. I like to ponder on that a lot.
He is easy to see in the beauty of nature. We get an idea of His power when we see nature manifesting that power. We can also see Him and His goodness in those who love us or are good to us; and in those whom we love and serve. We read about Him in Scripture and get an idea of how He was when He walked the earth and how He is now. Those of us who believe in the Real Presence cherish Him in the Eucharist though some of us find tedium in the Liturgy.
As in all things we wish to find, first we have to look for Him. If we do not look for something we want, the likelihood is we won't find it. That is why we find Hiin beauty, in love, in the the Word, in the sacred. There's no problem there. The trick is how do we find Him everywhere.
I find that when one is in love, one finds the Beloved absolutely everywhere. Everything at all reminds one of the Beloved. That is what happens with God. When we have fallen in love with Him, he occupies our consciousness non-stop. We see Him in a bird on the wing overhead, in the squirrel running across the power lines, in the fat baby of our friend, the fragile old lady crossing the street. We see His goodness in our favorite food being served in the cafeteria and Mom picking us up at school as a surprise. We see all these things as loveletters from God. We know Him and we recognize His gestures easily.
Okay, so 1) Pray for the grace. 2) Know what He looks like: good, loving, giving, beautiful, kind. 3) Look for Him 4) Fall in love with Him and recognize His loveletters.
The difficult part is finding Him in difficult people and tough circumstances. When there is someone in my life whom I find difficult to love, I tell myself that Jesus is hiding in that person and the game is Hide-and-Seek and I have to find Him hiding in some obscure part of that person. Did I tell you about the homeless man who used to come to my house last summer? He drove me crazy until I remembered what Mother Teresa said, "We have to love Jesus in His most distressing disguise." It was only after I learned to do that and treat the man as if he were Jesus did he stop coming.
The problem is we forget that God is present in everyone and everything that happens to us - even the things we wished were not happening. One of my favorite quotes is, "Nothing is by chance. No detail has been forgotten in the Father's plans, already perfect." As in your Navy/Villanova deal. And even if that had not come through, whatever would have happened was designed by God for your utmost good. The problem is we don't trust Him to do right by us. We want Him to do what we ask Him to as if we were He, God, and He, our creature. When we get it right - that He is Lord - and we the ones he loves, can you imagine how much stress would fall off our shoulders?
So the last 2 steps are: 5) Love Him in His most distressing disguise. 6) Trust Him!
Did I deliver what you were looking for, Alex?
I said, "Everywhere!" He said,
"Is He sitting on my nose?" He was probably 3 or 4 at the time.
I said, "No - we are in God as fish are in water. Not only that - He is also inside us."
He said, "Huh uh. He won't fit. He's too big and I'm too small."
Fast forward to 34 years later. I am having a similar conversation with his son, Matthew, around the same age as he was when he asked the above questions.
I said, "Matt, do you know that God is inside you?"
"Oh, man," he spluttered, "He's gonna get stuck! I've got bones in there!"
I think all of us, children and grown people, have a hard time visualizing the whereness of God. I like to ponder on that a lot.
He is easy to see in the beauty of nature. We get an idea of His power when we see nature manifesting that power. We can also see Him and His goodness in those who love us or are good to us; and in those whom we love and serve. We read about Him in Scripture and get an idea of how He was when He walked the earth and how He is now. Those of us who believe in the Real Presence cherish Him in the Eucharist though some of us find tedium in the Liturgy.
As in all things we wish to find, first we have to look for Him. If we do not look for something we want, the likelihood is we won't find it. That is why we find Hiin beauty, in love, in the the Word, in the sacred. There's no problem there. The trick is how do we find Him everywhere.
I find that when one is in love, one finds the Beloved absolutely everywhere. Everything at all reminds one of the Beloved. That is what happens with God. When we have fallen in love with Him, he occupies our consciousness non-stop. We see Him in a bird on the wing overhead, in the squirrel running across the power lines, in the fat baby of our friend, the fragile old lady crossing the street. We see His goodness in our favorite food being served in the cafeteria and Mom picking us up at school as a surprise. We see all these things as loveletters from God. We know Him and we recognize His gestures easily.
Okay, so 1) Pray for the grace. 2) Know what He looks like: good, loving, giving, beautiful, kind. 3) Look for Him 4) Fall in love with Him and recognize His loveletters.
The difficult part is finding Him in difficult people and tough circumstances. When there is someone in my life whom I find difficult to love, I tell myself that Jesus is hiding in that person and the game is Hide-and-Seek and I have to find Him hiding in some obscure part of that person. Did I tell you about the homeless man who used to come to my house last summer? He drove me crazy until I remembered what Mother Teresa said, "We have to love Jesus in His most distressing disguise." It was only after I learned to do that and treat the man as if he were Jesus did he stop coming.
The problem is we forget that God is present in everyone and everything that happens to us - even the things we wished were not happening. One of my favorite quotes is, "Nothing is by chance. No detail has been forgotten in the Father's plans, already perfect." As in your Navy/Villanova deal. And even if that had not come through, whatever would have happened was designed by God for your utmost good. The problem is we don't trust Him to do right by us. We want Him to do what we ask Him to as if we were He, God, and He, our creature. When we get it right - that He is Lord - and we the ones he loves, can you imagine how much stress would fall off our shoulders?
So the last 2 steps are: 5) Love Him in His most distressing disguise. 6) Trust Him!
Did I deliver what you were looking for, Alex?
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Forgiveness
Though relationships with the important people in our lives can be difficult, even harrowing, the efforts we invest in resolving them are never lost and will bear fruit.
Forgiving is very hard especially when the other person keeps hurting us. But not forgiving is even harder because it is toxic and pollutes every other area in our emotional life. Booker T. Washington said, "I will permit no man to narrow or degrade my spirit by making me hate him."
If we cannot find it in our heart to forgive then we must pray for the grace of forgiveness. God will give it to us in time. One morning, we wake up and discover that the bitterness is finally gone. As my spiritual director suggested, "Fake it until you make it." When you don't have the emotion to back the action, you will find that by doing the action habitually, the emotion will follow. In this matter, it is the willing, not the feeling, that matters. Whenever we choose to do the kind thing every time we have the choice to make, ultimately it will make us become kind people. When we do not make room for unkindness in our scheme of things, eventually it will have to go away.
When we simply cannot muster the will to forgive someone, let us just ask God to bless that person. We don't have to talk to them or relate to these people who sorely grieve us. Just bless them. Simply say, "Lord, please bless her/him." All that means is you no longer wish them ill. That is the seed of forgiveness.
Over the years, I have collected passages on various and sundry things. Remember how I used to ask you to collect quotes? Here are some on forgiveness and healing relationships.
"Holding on to your anger, resentment, and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth. Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and lightness in your life." - Joan Lunden
"Peace begins with a smile - smile five times a day at someone you really don't want to smile at. Do it for peace." Mother Teresa
"Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding." Albert Einstein
"The love of our neighbor in its fullness simply means being able to say to him, 'What are you going through?'" - Simone Weil
"We have to forgive each other...for being so infinitely less than we ought to be. We have to learn to give where we had hoped to get and to understand where we had hoped to be understood." - Harold Loukes
"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." - Mahatma Gandhi
"It isn't life that weighs us down - it's the way we carry it." - Elizabeth Potier
"Mercy does not indicate one incident, but a constant attitude to everyone." - Simeon the New Theologian
"It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust." - Samuel Johnson
"It is never easy to live with other people; it is much simpler to be a saint alone." - Esther de Waal
There is one by Martin Luther King which I cannot find at this moment which says something to the effect that Forgiveness is a habitual attitude, not random actions.
Peace, Little One
Forgiving is very hard especially when the other person keeps hurting us. But not forgiving is even harder because it is toxic and pollutes every other area in our emotional life. Booker T. Washington said, "I will permit no man to narrow or degrade my spirit by making me hate him."
If we cannot find it in our heart to forgive then we must pray for the grace of forgiveness. God will give it to us in time. One morning, we wake up and discover that the bitterness is finally gone. As my spiritual director suggested, "Fake it until you make it." When you don't have the emotion to back the action, you will find that by doing the action habitually, the emotion will follow. In this matter, it is the willing, not the feeling, that matters. Whenever we choose to do the kind thing every time we have the choice to make, ultimately it will make us become kind people. When we do not make room for unkindness in our scheme of things, eventually it will have to go away.
When we simply cannot muster the will to forgive someone, let us just ask God to bless that person. We don't have to talk to them or relate to these people who sorely grieve us. Just bless them. Simply say, "Lord, please bless her/him." All that means is you no longer wish them ill. That is the seed of forgiveness.
Over the years, I have collected passages on various and sundry things. Remember how I used to ask you to collect quotes? Here are some on forgiveness and healing relationships.
"Holding on to your anger, resentment, and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth. Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and lightness in your life." - Joan Lunden
"Peace begins with a smile - smile five times a day at someone you really don't want to smile at. Do it for peace." Mother Teresa
"Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding." Albert Einstein
"The love of our neighbor in its fullness simply means being able to say to him, 'What are you going through?'" - Simone Weil
"We have to forgive each other...for being so infinitely less than we ought to be. We have to learn to give where we had hoped to get and to understand where we had hoped to be understood." - Harold Loukes
"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." - Mahatma Gandhi
"It isn't life that weighs us down - it's the way we carry it." - Elizabeth Potier
"Mercy does not indicate one incident, but a constant attitude to everyone." - Simeon the New Theologian
"It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust." - Samuel Johnson
"It is never easy to live with other people; it is much simpler to be a saint alone." - Esther de Waal
There is one by Martin Luther King which I cannot find at this moment which says something to the effect that Forgiveness is a habitual attitude, not random actions.
Peace, Little One
Sunday, November 18, 2007
What to do when your faith starts wavering?
What does one do when one's faith starts wavering? The same thing one does when something that is supposed to be stable starts to waver - shore it up.
Someone else asked a similar question recently - what do you do when you have drifted away from God? Drift right back.
First, what do "waver" and "drift" mean? Does it mean that you no longer feel as tight with God as you once did? Does He feel very distant?
Feelings are not very reliable you know. They can be affected by barometric pressure, the amount of sleep you got, the time of the month, your digestive system, fatigue, stress, any number of things. Often, how you feel and the objective reality do not match at all.
Once, when I hadn't thought about God at all the entire day, I said to Him, "I'm so sorry, Lord. I've been so far from You all day," and He replied, "I don't know about you but I've been by your elbow all day long." In other words, feeling distant from God doesn't mean He IS distant.
There's a saying, "If God seems distant, who moved?" If it was you, then all you have to do is move closer back. He never moves away from us. If saints fervently sought union with God, then believe me, He even more fervently seeks union with us.
But here's another thing: sometimes, God steps into the shadows so that you can plumb the depth of your faith. A young friend responded to that by saying that God doesn't do that; He isn't that capricious. It isn't caprice. To believe in God when He is obviously there isn't faith. It is logic. I think it was Richard Rohr who said: "Faith is not the absence of doubt. It is commitment in the face of uncertainty."
It consoles me greatly that many of the great saints and mystics experienced this "distance" of God. St. John of the Cross and St. Teresa of Avila called it the "dark night of the soul." You may have read recently that Mother Teresa no longer felt God's consolations towards the end of her life but she never stopped loving or serving Him. One saint, (it may have been St. Therese) had such doubts that she wrote down the beliefs she doubted in her own blood. I guess what I am saying is we do not lose our faith without our permission.
When I was much younger I told a priest-friend of mine that I had so many doubts, losing my faith would have been as easy as rolling off a log. He said, "That is why your faith is so strong - you have fought for it." Feed your faith, starve your doubts.
A young soldier once prayed, "Lord, when I no longer have the strength to cling to You, just You cling to me." And He will because He does not ever want to lose us.
So there you are:
Feelings and reality do not often match. God may feel distant but He is always right there beside you.
Faith is precisely believing in the sun when it isn't shining; in the Son when He seems absent.
Faith is lost only when we allow it to be lost.
Our faith is as strong as our desire to keep it.
We feed our faith with prayer, the Eucharist, hanging out with faith-filled people, more prayer, the tenacity to hang on to God, still more prayer, looking to the saints' struggles to stay faithful, harassing the Holy Spirit for grace.
Basically, we will fight for Whom we love!
Someone else asked a similar question recently - what do you do when you have drifted away from God? Drift right back.
First, what do "waver" and "drift" mean? Does it mean that you no longer feel as tight with God as you once did? Does He feel very distant?
Feelings are not very reliable you know. They can be affected by barometric pressure, the amount of sleep you got, the time of the month, your digestive system, fatigue, stress, any number of things. Often, how you feel and the objective reality do not match at all.
Once, when I hadn't thought about God at all the entire day, I said to Him, "I'm so sorry, Lord. I've been so far from You all day," and He replied, "I don't know about you but I've been by your elbow all day long." In other words, feeling distant from God doesn't mean He IS distant.
There's a saying, "If God seems distant, who moved?" If it was you, then all you have to do is move closer back. He never moves away from us. If saints fervently sought union with God, then believe me, He even more fervently seeks union with us.
But here's another thing: sometimes, God steps into the shadows so that you can plumb the depth of your faith. A young friend responded to that by saying that God doesn't do that; He isn't that capricious. It isn't caprice. To believe in God when He is obviously there isn't faith. It is logic. I think it was Richard Rohr who said: "Faith is not the absence of doubt. It is commitment in the face of uncertainty."
It consoles me greatly that many of the great saints and mystics experienced this "distance" of God. St. John of the Cross and St. Teresa of Avila called it the "dark night of the soul." You may have read recently that Mother Teresa no longer felt God's consolations towards the end of her life but she never stopped loving or serving Him. One saint, (it may have been St. Therese) had such doubts that she wrote down the beliefs she doubted in her own blood. I guess what I am saying is we do not lose our faith without our permission.
When I was much younger I told a priest-friend of mine that I had so many doubts, losing my faith would have been as easy as rolling off a log. He said, "That is why your faith is so strong - you have fought for it." Feed your faith, starve your doubts.
A young soldier once prayed, "Lord, when I no longer have the strength to cling to You, just You cling to me." And He will because He does not ever want to lose us.
So there you are:
Feelings and reality do not often match. God may feel distant but He is always right there beside you.
Faith is precisely believing in the sun when it isn't shining; in the Son when He seems absent.
Faith is lost only when we allow it to be lost.
Our faith is as strong as our desire to keep it.
We feed our faith with prayer, the Eucharist, hanging out with faith-filled people, more prayer, the tenacity to hang on to God, still more prayer, looking to the saints' struggles to stay faithful, harassing the Holy Spirit for grace.
Basically, we will fight for Whom we love!
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